#inspirationsunday #sigosherts
I’ve been in the Solomons for 416 days- that’s a year and 51 days. By now, I felt that I should have been able to expect a lot of out myself. I expected to be able to freely converse with people in another language. I expected to be familiar with the culture and fully acclimated to the way of life here. I expected to be a gracious, giving missionary, with no tangles or struggles to hold me back. Basically, I expected myself to be some kind of super hero missionary. But they don’t exist. In fact they are mythical creatures that can haunt the minds of real missionaries.
Sunday morning, at church, I came face to face with the very real kind of missionary that does exist in real life. She awoke at the crack of dawn on a very hot day to start cooking chicken. She needed to cook enough to fill up a very large crock pot and take it to church to share at a potluck. She got herself and her family ready for church, out the door, and to the church with only a minute to spare. She had just settled down in a chair at the back of the service strategically chosen because of its location near a very big fan–it was a very hot day and the air was stifling. She was just praising the Lord that the chicken had not spilled out of the crockpot on the drive down the very big, bumpy hill to church, when the worship leader asked the congregation to move up several rows, closer to the stage, so that folks who were yet to come could sneak into the chairs at the back. This missionary was a little panicked. This very real missionary was worried about leaving her seat near the fan, and being very hot and uncomfortable.
This very real missionary was me. And as we moved up 5 or 6 rows, to make room for people coming in after us, I knew it was the right thing to do, but I was NOT happy to be doing it. Why is serving people always easy to do when it is on our terms? Why does my happiness in serving somehow get tied into my ability to pick where I sit?
Immediately the first song began, and the congregation began to sing praises to God, thanking Him. And I couldn’t do it. I would have been a hypocrite to do it, at least with where my heart was in that moment. I silently stood there, upset over having to move away from a fan, and even angry at myself for being upset. In what I can only say was my pride, I indignantly raged at myself for being the kind of person who gets upset at things like having to move away from a fan. By the time the first song was over I was a hot mess.
Then the next song began. “Turn your eyes upon Jesus…” Jesus was calling to me. I felt so stupid, but in humility I turned my eyes to my Savior, and begged His forgiveness. Then I sang, “And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace.” Such sweet words. I confessed my sin, and was right back into right relationship with my almighty, loving, amazing God.
We sang several other songs as the very hot air persisted; but I had a handheld fan, and the music and the fellowship as we all praised our Heavenly Father and Savior through the power of the Holy spirit kept my eyes off my discomfort and made my soul thankful. Then the sermon started, and the preacher explained that he had specifically chosen to wear uncomfortable clothes. They were nice clothes, and he normally (he doesn’t preach every week) wears t-shirts and comfortable pants. His sermon was on Ephesians 4:14-16 and was a really good reminder to me (and all of us there) that we are one body. We are called to live in community, and sometimes that is uncomfortable.
Really, I don’t think I have been 100% comfortable since we moved here. Everything is still new, and unfamiliar. Things are harder here. It takes twice as long to do things, or at least it feels like it. But I wasn’t called to a comfortable life. John 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” This life where Jesus came and died to give to us, is not a comfortable one, but it is an abundant one. “In the light of His glory and grace,” our discomfort grows “strangely dim”. Our struggles pale in comparison to Jesus. What he asks us to do, he empowers us to do. He gives us everything we need to trust and obey Him.
Over the 416 days I have lived in the Solomons, I have heard people exclaim, “I could never do that!” It’s all light hearted, and makes me laugh, but I think I had begun to feel like a freak for choosing to “do that” or “live like that”. But in all reality, I am not some sort of super hero missionary, able to do the hard things. I am just one obedient servant of Christ, who has to daily depend on the Lord, and THAT is the abundant life. THAT is where it is at. That is living. Because it’s not dependent on me at all. It’s all about Jesus, His sustaining power, and His amazing grace.